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It looks like a relationship and in your mind, feels like a relationship, but it has the hallmarks, not the landmarks of a relationship (commitment, progression, balance, intimacy, and consistency, plus shared values, love, care, trust, and respect), so it’s actually casual .
While some are upfront, others don’t say anything until they really have to, which is normally around the time when you’re wanting things to progress or looking for some clarification.
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Every time these thoughts creep in, you remind yourself of when you were laughing a few weeks ago, or when you they talked about stuff they’d like to do with you (but have made no moves to), or when they said that they really enjoy your company.
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Over the coming weeks and months you notice a pattern – after loads of calls/texts/emails and off the chains sex initially, it’s slipped into a territory where you don’t really know where you stand. One night, lying there in the afterglow of another good ‘seeing to’, you tentatively ask what the score is, or mention a forthcoming event that you’d like them to come to with you.
You want to progress things and there is a niggling concern that they’re using you for sex, although you really don’t want to see it this way.
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