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I don’t know how, I don’t know when and I don’t know much about professional sports anymore because I stopped paying attention in 8th grade when I discovered my penis.', Schlossberg jokingly advises his peers on how to be a gentleman by always complaining about the beer they are drinking, never reading in private and always wearing 'at least one piece of leather' ..'leather clothing must never have a zipper, for this is far too functional and has connotations of the peasantry of Urban Outfitters.'He also advises, 'When discussing your parents, which cannot be done enough, never use a possessive.

Always say “Father” or “Mother,” as if they are everyone’s parents.

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